Your Relationship with Money

You may have the misconception that you are what you buy. You may
believe on some level that the more you spend, the more successful and
important you are. Developing that mindset is easy because all of us are constantly
bombarded with messages that equate money and stuff with success.
How often do you see ads promoting frugality, saving, or self-denial? If you’re
struggling to keep up with the Joneses, you may need to reevaluate your
friendships. The Joneses may be driving you straight to the poorhouse.

Recognizing emotional spending
Maybe you spend money for emotional reasons. For example, think about
what you do when you feel sad or disappointed, or when you want to celebrate
a success. Do you head to the mall? Do you click on your favorite retail
Web site? Do you treat yourself to an expensive meal or enjoy a weekend getaway
even though you really can’t afford it? If so, spending may have become
a sort of addiction. Everyone likes to reward themselves from time to time,
but doing so continually is a problem, and losing track of whether you can
afford to treat yourself is a cause for real concern.

If emotional spending describes your behavior to a T, you need to get a handle
on it fast. One option is to meet with a mental health professional; you may
qualify for help from a low-cost/no-cost clinic in your area. Or get involved
with Debtors Anonymous (www.debtorsanonymous.org or 781-453-2743).
DA uses the time-tested methods of Alcoholics Anonymous to help people
understand why they spend and to gain control over their spending.

Living for the moment
Maybe your problem is that you “live for today” and don’t think about tomorrow.
In some ways, living in the moment is great, sure — but not if you turn
a blind eye toward your future. How do you know if you’ve got this attitude
toward money? You probably

Use credit too much.
Don’t try to pay off your credit balances as quickly as possible, telling
yourself there will be plenty of time to do that later.
Save little, if anything.
Rarely, if ever, take time to balance your checkbook, check out your

credit reports and credit score, or maintain a household budget.
Such money attitudes are self-destructive, and they do catch up with you
eventually. Because you’re reading this book, they may already have.